Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Letter To My 16 Year Old Self - Lessons From Up Here

Smokers and drinkers are not all bad people
They are good people with bad habits
Sometimes, they are also the right people
You pretended when you studied and you pretended when you had fun
All you had to do was not pretend and you would have done much better, chosen much better

You did not let yourself dance enough
You did not let yourself write enough
You did not let yourself play enough
You thought that people would take you seriously coz you took yourself seriously
Well, its laughable to take yourself seriously even at 26, forget 16
It is ok to be arrogant when you have become something
You were arrogant by the thought of what you can become
Well, all you became was a joke

You never loved someone deeply enough
You never experienced hurt, you never experienced pain
You never experienced sleepless nights while she had already moved on to the next in line
You inflicted all of that on someone else

Your obsession with Ayn Rand was like a pimple - which disappears in your 20s
My obsession with Pink Floyd is like the bald spot - it keeps expanding till it takes over your entire head
You wore strange clothes bcoz they were cheap replicas of SRK's last movie
I wear strange clothes bcoz they are what society thinks is in fashion
You got drunk on water and wreaked havoc on the dance floor
I get drunk on  more potent stuff

You played more cricket on the street, I play more Hangman on the ipad
You were a smug asshole for no reason
I am a smug asshole for some reason
You pretended you were in love when you werent
I pretend I am not in love when I am
You lied to exaggerate, I lie to play down
You never traveled the world - you never had the money
I never travel the world - I never have the time

I am still paying for all the relationships you ruined at your age
At an interest compounded daily

You made friends with an agenda in mind
I am befriended with an agenda in mind
You wrote letters when in love and never got replied to
I get replied to but with layers of meaning too difficult to comprehend

And yet, you were nothing compared to me
You were a mere shadow compared to me
Obsessed with all the wrong things
Oblivious of all the right things
You did not see Umang, you did not see MICA

You were the better dancer
You were the better writer
You were the better cricketer
But I am the better you


7 comments:

Atrisa said...

Honest! Nice. I totally get what you're saying. Though I feel a little tired and scared that I'm running out of time, I don't know for what, I feel like a better version of me. But the spirit remains the same, even if the body changes. Life was easy then, but it's only now that it feels like Life. You know what I mean?

Miti said...

Nice one.. Wonder what I'd say to my 16 year old self!

Kunj Sanghvi said...

@ Archie - yes i know what you mean.. even i feel the optimism for the future slowly draining out of me

@ miti - id hav told ur 16 yr old self to not study so much and concentrate on boys a little more :p

Anuj said...

Hi Kunj,

I am Gogi's friend., you wrote it beautifully and very much different.. :-)

Cheers!
Anuj :-)

Shrey said...

Beautiful, Kunj!

Kunj Sanghvi said...

Anuj and Shrey.. Thanks a lot! :)

KJS said...

Good .... Honest....and surely something that everyone at our age thinks of...Life...Moves on!!!