Sunday, May 13, 2012

Dei Dei !!

Mumbai, 2040
A sprawling bungalow in suburban Bandra. Kabir and Aliya are in the vegetable garden, sitting on swings on a pleasant January afternoon. Kabir is busy rolling a joint and Aliya is chatting with her latest boyfriend on her BBM.
Kabir – It was good to meet dada and dadi. We should try and meet some of these people dad asks us to meet sometimes. Dada is a little uptight but dadi is just awesome. Such wonderful tales they have of their times. It seems kinda other-worldly.
Aliya looks up from the BB to put in her two bits
Aliya – Yeah man. Innocent folk too. Quite unaware of what the world is upto. But really good tales.
Kabir – Dude, I think if they had dad’s ability for telling a story, they would be even more interesting than dad. Coz they really have very interesting stories to tell. I mean, just look at those dudes they were talking about. What were their names? Krishna and Ram and Mahavir and what not. Some ancient version of gods it seems. As if we don’t have our share of gods already. What with Sachin and Gandhi and Sarkozy.
Aliya, tying a pony tail with a yellow rubber band
Aliya – What was strange was the extreme reverence they had for them, yaar. I mean, its ok, they were gods and all. But whats the big deal! They are fallible too, right. Like look at Sachin. For all the greatness that dad talks about, he still was involved in that sex racket, right? Doesnt mean he isn’t a god. He was awesome at his work, right? Thats what counts, right?
Kabir, proudly admiring a well-rolled thin, tight joint
Kabir – Ya sis. These gods have some awesome advantages, yaar. Look at the women that Sarkozy bangs even at 80! Iv decided, Im going to do whatever it takes to become a god. I knew about all the fun our gods have had, but look at Krishna dude. He is actually a double god in my opinion. He acts all pious and gives long sermons about moraility like Aamir Khan and then gets all lovey-dovey with gopis in the garden like Shahrukh Khan. Awesome double life, dude! He had the chakra permanently in one hand, i’ll have a joint.
Aliya – Hehe. Such a dumbfuck you are. Becoming a god cant be the ambition. That should be an underlying theme in whatever you do. My ambition is to become a dancer. I will do it so well, that i become a goddess. So being very good at something makes you a god. Look at this Mahavir dude. He knew some 2500 years ago that there are living things smaller than what the eye can see. Now did he find it out coz some hottie whispered it to him in his sleep or he had some extra special microscopic eyes, I don’t know. But he knew something that science could prove only 2000 years later. I mean, thats real pioneering work. Cool dude too. Comfortable in his own skin. Never cared about fashion.
Kabir – Ya, ya. If he were in Bombay today, even he, in all his naked splendour,  wouldn’t be able to put up with this heat. But you are right, in all the stories, one thing that troubled me too was how both the oldies weren’t willing to hear a single bad thing about them. They didn’t like my analysis of how Shive sounded like another Sunny Deol, but with better dancing skills. I mean, come on, both seem to get angry really fast. One beheads his son and the other beheads his brethren. Oh and there was another one – this Ram and Yudhisthir sound like Hank Rearden from Atlas Shrugged – taking the full burden of the family and trying to do what is right. But Hank Rearden sure was nicer to his wife than these two guys. I mean, simply bcoz they are gods doesnt mean everything they do is right!
Aliya, recalling something important – Yaaaa. And thats exactly what I said to granny in the kitchen. And she looked around worried. Asking me if any of the attendents here were affiliated to, what was it?, Shiv Sena or something. Coz if they overhear us, they will get us killed. I was like, dude, dadi must have seen some very disturbed times to experience such paranoia.
Kabir, letting out smoke after taking a deep drag from the doobie – Paranoia is the word! You remember how they reacted when we told them we found this old Krishna sculpture while digging in the neighbourhood garden. They told us some long tale about how once such a thing led to so much bloodshed across the country. I understand if you destroy that Sachin temple in Kolkatta and erect one for Ravindra Jadeja at the same site, the Sachin fan club will be damn pissed. But bloodshed? Riots? Rapes? Thats an old man’s imagination gone wild!  
Aliya smiled – But good stories yaar! Sweet people, both of them. Infact, I wouldn’t mind if for some days they allow them to come meet us instead of dad. It might help them too. Poor things mistake that higher being that made the world for all these gods. I think people become naive as they grow older. Look at dad’s obsession with making money – like thats going to cure us! Hehe. Oh I have to go. Meeting Zooni upstairs for coffee.
Kabir – Ya alright. I am off to offer my daily prayers to Pamela Anderson. By the way, do you think this higher being that made the world would want someone to take over at some point of time? Id like that job.
Aliya – Why would you like to do that? I guess he must be this hairy, pot-bellied, unkempt unshaven guy who sits on his dirty couch having greasy snacks and pints of beer all day – watching his creations bumbling through life. He cant become a god even if he wants to! All he has to do is sit there and laugh at this farce down here.
Kabir – Precisement!
And outside, the madness continued.

Photo source:


Anuj said...

This works just as well in the Mumbai of 2012. And expecting us to be still stuck on the BB at a time when RIM (the makers of BB) who could die any day didn't work for me. Some great lines in there though.

Kunj Sanghvi said...

Haha.. I dunno if it clearly comes across.. they are in a mental asylum.. hence stuck with outdated tech.. deliberately kept bbm thr.. and its mumbai of 2040 coz its how i envisage our teenage kids to be

gogi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gogi said...

The mental asylum didn't come through but yeah, this would be closer to how it might look say, 50 years from now than some hi-tech. semi-utopian or Orwellian future.

I was expecting to see a collage of the neu-gods as well.

Good read.