Friday, January 28, 2011

Past Tense Future

I wish to reach a day when writing a blog post wouldn’t require so much effort.. so much inspiration.. so much mental make-up.. a day when it will be routine.. in the process.. in the effort.. but never in quality.
Every part of me screams for me to write a Delhi-Bombay post. Have thought of too many smart-ass lines and insightful observations - filing them away somewhere in the cabinet of the mind for a more appropriate time. I am slowly reaching a stage when I will desperately need to vomit it all out on a sleepless night or end up enduring a few more. The reason why I am still holding back the post is because im not sure im at the right vantage point to view this topic right now. It will be the day I know I will be going back to Bombay for a considerable period – and that could be a month later or 13 or 25 or…. I don’t know!
So heres a tag I thought will be fun answering, although it turned out far too senti in the end:

20 years ago I . . .
• Had a young kid I could barely hold in my arms and thought it was my new toy – the way I was one for my dad
• Thought my dad to be the scariest man I will ever know and my grampa to be the owner of a massive chocolate shop
• Watched DD News with the whole family waiting for the most interesting part – the advertisements
• Survived 3 days at karate class and gave it up forever

10 years ago I . . .
• Had a young kid who thought I was the master of cricket and would bat left-handed if I asked him to
• Wore extravagant warm clothes in the non-existent Bombay winters just so that I could ape what SRK wore in his last movie
• Wanted to be a journalist and bring evil governments down
• Cried copiously in bed coz dad refused to let me go for the school trip to Rajasthan

5 years ago I . . .
• Had a young kid who had stopped revering me and hated me coz he thought mom sided with me
• Wanted to be a media baron – a la Richard Armstrong/Keith Townsend
• Saw the dead body of the most optimistic, joyous, passionate man I have ever known – my grandfather
• Was an Umangite

3 years ago I . . .
• Wept on the Kota railway station platform as a young kid looked on from the overhead bridge
• Was putting on extra flab warming the seat in a makeshift cybercafé trying to eke out a corporate career for myself in a startup
• Saw a MICA Alumni video several times over without having met those people or seen that place before
• Finally became friends with my dad

1 year ago I . . .
• Felt proud of myself – and so did my dad
• Was hopelessly in love
• Loosened down, made friends for life, danced around a courtyard all night long
• Created Micanvas

So far this year I . . .
• Fell in love with a new city
• Found something good enough to make me think about giving up on a lot of things I hold dear
• Did good work – made the right choices
• Realized my mom is also human

Yesterday I . . .
• Went to a beautiful city – but didn’t manage to see it
• Saw a simple Indian wedding - made opulent by warmth and care
• Talked to my dad the way only best friends do
• Travelled for the first time in the first class compartment - with a UP gangster for company

Today I . . .
• Imagined a Delhi girl fight and abuse her way into a Virar local in peak hours
• Realized one of my bosses might well be the best writer I have read
• Turned down a chance to spend 6 hours with a pretty girl on Delhi roads coz it wouldn’t have served the company’s interests (I know.. wtf!)
• Had a filter coffee in an udipi joint and recalled many wonderful Sunday evenings with family

Tomorrow I will . . .
• Wear a kurta for the first time to office
• Go out for drinks with colleagues and be in my element
• Take a bath!
• Brush my teeth!!!

In the next year I will . . .
• Be the best MT in my company
• Still be hopelessly in love
• See a young kid take baby steps towards defining his Lakshya
• See Sachin holding aloft the World Cup in my city


Shreya said...

Delhi Girl appreciates the post :)

Spaced Out said...
This comment has been removed by the author.