Mumbai, 2040
A sprawling bungalow in suburban Bandra. Kabir and Aliya
are in the vegetable garden, sitting on swings on a pleasant January afternoon.
Kabir is busy rolling a joint and Aliya is chatting with her latest boyfriend
on her BBM.
Kabir – It was good to meet dada and dadi. We should try
and meet some of these people dad asks us to meet sometimes. Dada is a little
uptight but dadi is just awesome. Such wonderful tales they have of their
times. It seems kinda other-worldly.
Aliya looks up from the BB to put in her two bits
Aliya – Yeah man. Innocent folk too. Quite unaware of
what the world is upto. But really good tales.
Kabir – Dude, I think if they had dad’s ability for
telling a story, they would be even more interesting than dad. Coz they really
have very interesting stories to tell. I mean, just look at those dudes they
were talking about. What were their names? Krishna and Ram and Mahavir and what
not. Some ancient version of gods it seems. As if we don’t have our share of gods
already. What with Sachin and Gandhi and Sarkozy.
Aliya, tying a pony tail with a yellow rubber band
Aliya – What was strange was the extreme reverence they
had for them, yaar. I mean, its ok, they were gods and all. But whats the big
deal! They are fallible too, right. Like look at Sachin. For all the greatness
that dad talks about, he still was involved in that sex racket, right? Doesnt
mean he isn’t a god. He was awesome at his work, right? Thats what counts, right?
Kabir, proudly admiring a well-rolled thin, tight joint
Kabir – Ya sis. These gods have some awesome advantages,
yaar. Look at the women that Sarkozy bangs even at 80! Iv decided, Im going to
do whatever it takes to become a god. I knew about all the fun our gods have
had, but look at Krishna dude. He is actually a double god in my opinion. He
acts all pious and gives long sermons about moraility like Aamir Khan and then
gets all lovey-dovey with gopis in the garden like Shahrukh Khan. Awesome
double life, dude! He had the chakra permanently in one hand, i’ll have a
joint.
Aliya – Hehe. Such a dumbfuck you are. Becoming a god
cant be the ambition. That should be an underlying theme in whatever you do. My
ambition is to become a dancer. I will do it so well, that i become a goddess.
So being very good at something makes you a god. Look at this Mahavir dude. He
knew some 2500 years ago that there are living things smaller than what the eye
can see. Now did he find it out coz some hottie whispered it to him in his
sleep or he had some extra special microscopic eyes, I don’t know. But he knew
something that science could prove only 2000 years later. I mean, thats real
pioneering work. Cool dude too. Comfortable in his own skin. Never cared about
fashion.
Kabir – Ya, ya. If he were in Bombay today, even he, in
all his naked splendour, wouldn’t be
able to put up with this heat. But you are right, in all the stories, one thing
that troubled me too was how both the oldies weren’t willing to hear a single
bad thing about them. They didn’t like my analysis of how Shive sounded like
another Sunny Deol, but with better dancing skills. I mean, come on, both seem
to get angry really fast. One beheads his son and the other beheads his
brethren. Oh and there was another one – this Ram and Yudhisthir sound like Hank
Rearden from Atlas Shrugged – taking the full burden of the family and trying
to do what is right. But Hank Rearden sure was nicer to his wife than these two
guys. I mean, simply bcoz they are gods doesnt mean everything they do is right!
Aliya, recalling something important – Yaaaa. And thats
exactly what I said to granny in the kitchen. And she looked around worried.
Asking me if any of the attendents here were affiliated to, what was it?, Shiv
Sena or something. Coz if they overhear us, they will get us killed. I was
like, dude, dadi must have seen some very disturbed times to experience such
paranoia.
Kabir, letting out smoke after taking a deep drag from the
doobie – Paranoia is the word! You remember how they reacted when we told them
we found this old Krishna sculpture while digging in the neighbourhood garden.
They told us some long tale about how once such a thing led to so much
bloodshed across the country. I understand if you destroy that Sachin temple in
Kolkatta and erect one for Ravindra Jadeja at the same site, the Sachin fan
club will be damn pissed. But bloodshed? Riots? Rapes? Thats an old man’s
imagination gone wild!
Aliya smiled – But good stories yaar! Sweet people, both
of them. Infact, I wouldn’t mind if for some days they allow them to come meet
us instead of dad. It might help them too. Poor things mistake that higher
being that made the world for all these gods. I think people become naive as
they grow older. Look at dad’s obsession with making money – like thats going
to cure us! Hehe. Oh I have to go. Meeting Zooni upstairs for coffee.
Kabir – Ya alright. I am off to offer my daily prayers to
Pamela Anderson. By the way, do you think this higher being that made the world
would want someone to take over at some point of time? Id like that job.
Aliya – Why would you like to do that? I guess he must be
this hairy, pot-bellied, unkempt unshaven guy who sits on his dirty couch
having greasy snacks and pints of beer all day – watching his creations
bumbling through life. He cant become a god even if he wants to! All he has to
do is sit there and laugh at this farce down here.
Kabir – Precisement!
And outside, the
madness continued. |
| Photo source: www.indif.com |
